“Sometimes we all wear masks, so how is it possible to identify the people you have talked about?” I said to Rachael.  “Easy,” she said.  “To know people’s thoughts listen to their words, and to know their hearts, look at their actions.  It is as simple as that”.

And Vroom!  She drove out of the parking lot where we had spoken for close to 30 minutes, as I listened to the sound of her vehicle.  Slowly, her words sunk into my mind.  I had never thought about it before bumping into Rachael that day, yet her last words made a lot of sense.

My friend Rachel and her husband are in the printing business, which they started eight years ago.  When they started the business, they faced a lot of opposition from friends and family members, who gave them all manner of reasons why the business would fail.  Only a handful encouraged them to pursue their dream.

“Not everybody has your interests at heart—friends and family members—and you only get to find out when you start getting your act together, and begin to do something constructive with your life,” Racheal said to me when we met at the parking lot.  “When we were struggling with life, no one bothered us, but the moment we started talking of selling our sole property to start a printing business, people we least expected came up to us with all manner of distractions”.

Some people are destructive, and will try to bring you down the moment you seem to be serious about improving your life.  They do this by discouraging you with their words and actions.  I guess it is human nature, and there is nothing much you can do about it—except keeping them out of your personal development endeavors, like starting a new business, or when implementing a one-off project, that is if you want to succeed.

“Had we not focused on the importance of avoiding destructive people, our business would not have seen the light of day,” Rachael said with conviction.  “My husband and I learned at a very early stage that every positive person we allowed into our plans increased our chances of being positive, which in return made us succeed, and here we are today!”.

According to Racheal, the three types of people to avoid if you want to succeed in your personal development endeavors are:

• The wet blankets. These people will keep reminding you of your past mistakes, telling you that you will not make it because of your former actions.  What they need to realize is that everyone makes mistakes in life—and they learn from them—which means that people and circumstances change.  Do not allow people to pull you down.  Have confidence and believe that you can do anything you set your mind to do.  The past is gone so focus on doing what needs to be done today, and you will be on the super highway to a bright future.
• The spoilers. These people will distract you and make you lose focus of your goals.  They do this by giving you the wrong advice—whether knowingly or unknowingly—that leads to your downfall.  You can be polite and listen to what they have to say, but take control of your life by making the final decision
• The fighters. These people love conflict.  They do this by saying things that will upset you, and by arguing about anything and everything under the sun.  Worse still, they want to win by all means—even when there is nothing to be won.  You must ignore the fighters to save your energy and time, so that you can focus on succeeding.